|
As she walked along the corridor to the classroom she could feel her shoulders rising to meet her ears. Her whole body was tensing up. From her stomach arose a whirlwind of fear. It reached past her heart and grabbed hold of her mind. Her body began to twist into a knot. Her face screwed into a scowl.
“Why does it always have to be this way with this class? They are so…”, she lamented. “Wait a minute. What kind of energy are you bringing with you into the classroom?” interrupted her inner coach. “What?” “What do you look like?” “Well, it’s because…” “What kind of face is that you have on?” “What do you expect?” “What do you expect? If you go into the room, feeling like that, looking like that? What’s the first thing they will see?” “Well??” “What’s the first thing they will do?” “Hmm!” “And what do you want them to do? Really? Deep down?” “I want them to want to learn!” “What can you do, to make that more possible?” She stopped, straightened up. She carried out her self-calming ritual. She took a deep breath. Then two more. Fear settled down. She sent fear back down to her belly and took control of her mind. “This is going to be a wonderful lesson,” she told herself. Then said it out loud again, for extra measure as she opened the classroom door, “Wonderful lesson…” At one college the janitor (whose job it is to clean the toilets, repair broken windows, clear graffiti etc) was proudly showing me around the super clean premises.
As he did so, we found groups of students sitting in stairways and huddled in groups in secret places hidden from view. He checked what the students were doing, should they be in class, are they lost, are they avoiding someone? He asked how they were feeling: if they were sick, tired, bored, scared...? Every student spoke to the janitor with love and respect. It was heart-warming. I asked how he had done it. He told me he was a coach (an ACC certified coach!) and he had spent the first months of his new job getting to know the students and all their secret hiding places. He had spent months repairing the many broken windows and scrubbing a lot of graffiti from the walls. I said, "Well, it sure looks clean now." He replied, "We have had no graffiti for a year, no broken windows and no mess in the corridors. They would not do that to me." Later, I commended the headteacher for employing a coach to clean the school. “As long as he does his job” he said abruptly. Then he winked at me. I was a new teacher, at my first job at a Secondary School. I was enthusiastic about Mathematics, and wanted to pass on my enthusiasm to the schoolchildren there.
One day, whilst writing on the blackboard I noticed that one of the taller boys was having a bundle of fun attracting the attention of the class, distracting them from my teaching of the Noble Art of Maths. Some of the teenage students were rather tall for their age. Several boys were taller than I was. Along with their age and size came an awakening interest in the opposite sex. In this co-educational school the classes were a mix of boys and girls, which gave plenty of opportunities for the boys to show off to the girls; and for the girls to show off to the boys. Realising - from the sounds of laughter at the back of the room - that I had lost the attention of the class I felt that I needed to refocus on teaching them some social skills. I paid more attention to what the boy at the back of the room was doing. Somehow - and I still don't know how - he had managed to take off his underpants without removing his trousers AND had put his underpants back on again, over his trousers, like Superman. I could have flipped out, shouted and perhaps demanded that the boy leave the room, apologise etc. etc. However I was so fascinated by his feat of dexterity that I had to ask, not "Why?" but, "How?". Standing beside this boy asking how, we shared the attention of the class. Here was an opportunity to discuss useful social skills. In this case the skill of knowing the difference between private and public behaviour, appropriate behaviour for a classroom, and how to get the attention you need without taking your pants off. A skill that could be useful for all the boys and girls in the room. I asked the boy to stand up and adjust his clothing in front of the class, which probably felt slightly embarrassing for him since the kind of attention he was getting now was not as sexy as before. Being a young teacher, I still felt the need to play the role of teacher, to assert my authority in the classroom and to "tell him off", so that everyone would know that I am in charge of the classroom. Yet it felt daft looking up at this giant of a boy to say "Don't do it again"... so I grabbed the nearest chair and stood on it in order to be taller, then in an over-dramatised way, said the words "Don't .. do that ... again!" "No Sir", he said, smiling and accepting the admonishment in good spirits, along with the lesson in social skills. I sent him out of the room to adjust his clothing.  Do you like gardening?
Do you see before you rows of onions where everyone else just sees dirt? Can you smell the daffodils where these has been snow for months? Would you like to see how an idea becomes a social media post, a blog, an article, a book... then you are welcome to join the FB Group where I share my ongoing process. This had been a paper, scissors and glue lesson. Paper had been cut and glued. Hair had been cut and glued. And even a few fingers have been cut and glued. Not many of the paper model houses had been built.
As the teacher got the children to sit in a circle at the end of the lesson, I expected that she was about to share her thoughts on how those little buildings should have been made. In a voice that was wholly calm and filled with curiosity, she asked each of the students in turn questions like, “What do you think of the work you have done today?“, “How satisfied are you with what you have done?”, “What do you think of your behaviour in your group?”, “How well did you get on with the task today?” She then asked questions like, “What would you do differently?”, “What could you have done instead?“, “What would have been the best thing to do?“, “What would’ve made you really happy about your work?“ The answers the pupils gave could have come from mature adults. They expressed how sad they were at having trashed the room, failed at the task, messed with each other and generally wasted the lesson. They expressed a renewed desire to be better, to do better and follow the teacher’s instructions in a focused way in the next lesson. All that came from the pupils, not the teacher. So here was the learning! It was not about paper, scissors and glue, nor about model houses. It was about doing what made you feel fulfilled. It was about collaborating, making good use of one’s time and having a good time. This is the second in a series of blogs that examines the ways in which I, as a coach-educator, handle the external and internal struggles of taking on challenging educational assignments.
In the previous blog, I described the situation where the management team of a particular IT company wants to strengthen their position of being a 'good' company by supporting the reintegration of unemployed people into the IT-workforce. All well and good. To this end, they have entered into an agreement with the local employment office, aligning with some of the government's attempts to reduce the number of unemployed people. They have also acquired the services of a local recruitment company to ensure maximum results. It's supposed to be a win-win for all concerned. But, it's not working out. There have been challenges. Resistance, from the trainers, is increasing. As a coach-educator, who has strong opinions about using coaching in education, I have been brought in to 'solve the problem'. After some deliberation, I have accepted an assignment to design and run a 3-day 'social skills' course - for the unemployed people who are seeking jobs after three years of unemployment. In this blog, I will take us through my reasoning behind the design of the course, and arrive at an outline which I leave to you to populate with your favourite activities. Naturally, the blog is a story, and you can read it here. This is the first of a series of blogs where Martin Richards (a Certified Coach) has been interviewing Lisa M Evans, Ed.D. (an Experienced Educator) about situations from her experience, working as a teacher and administrator, and focusing on which coaching skills that would have benefited her in those situations.
WHY ARE WE WRITING THIS? We could all say, about our working lives, “If only we had known then what we know now, it would have been so much easier”. What we aim to do is to discover exactly which coaching skills would have been most useful, and why. Read the full story here. Some people ask about the difference between coaching and counselling. I'm not sure I could describe in a list what one does that the other does not. But I did have the opportunity of being in a school counsellor's room and coaching one of his students. The story below comes from "The Coach in the Classroom", by Martin Richards.. When the boy came into the counsellor, Jason's room, Riccardo immediately saw he was an ordinary boy, except for the fact that his eyes darted everywhere. He moved his head much like a bird, and seemed to be looking for something, or looking out for something, Riccardo wasn’t sure which.
The boy radiated a lot of energy and it seemed as though the room became both brighter and hotter as he walked in. The boy looked Riccardo up and down, querying why he was there, but not actually asking the question. Jason introduced them and portrayed Riccardo as a coach, a life coach. With this opening, Riccardo aimed to connect with the boy. Riccardo faced the boy and said, "I work with people who are in the process of making a decision, who want it to be the best decision for their lives. I don’t give advice; I simply listen and ask questions, and then listen again." The boy looked around the room in silence. Riccardo continued, "Is it okay with you that I’m here today? Jason asked me to come in and give some support. We both want the best for you, but it will be you who decides what the ‘best’ is, and who can help you, or not. Is it okay that I am a coach here for you today?" The boy shrugged and mumbled, "It’s okay I suppose." During his attempt to connect with him, Riccardo tried to maintain eye contact, but the boy looked away most of the time and scanned the room instead. "But is he paying attention?" asked the voice in Riccardo’s head. "Yes, he is listening; he is using his eyes, not his ears." Read the full story here for free Buy the book on Amazon This is the first of a series of blogs that examines the strategies an independent coach-educator can use to handle the external and internal struggles that arise when taking on a challenging education assignment in a less-than-optimal setting. Of course, I have written this as a story. It's not published yet. Through the window, you can see into my office. It has been my bedroom for the night. The arrangement of furniture is simple, a writing desk built into a bookshelf, with two hinged doors like wings, one on either side to allow this space be closed like a safe. The rest of the office shows signs of my overnight stay. On the bright red carpet, there are empty teacups and open books. Sheaves of papers are strewn in fallen piles among notebooks some stacked; some open, with pencils as bookmarks, like the scene of a bloodless battle with no clear victor. There came a sound.
As I dozed among my journals strewn There pinged an e-mail across the room. The ringing cut through my morning gloom and woke this hero, an hour too soon. My fingers rattled across the keys The login typed with practised ease. The challenge I read between the lines described my task to be, this time. Read the full story here. Not every teacher is ready and willing to be coached - even if their headteacher thinks so. Taking on the assignment to coach such a teacher brings me into the space between a Rock and a Hard Place. The question arises, "Why am I doing this? For whom am I coaching?". "Am I coaching to prove to the people in the Education System (teachers, headteachers, administrators...) that coaching is effective? Am I coaching to prove to myself that I am a good coach? Do I simply wish to prove to this teacher that coaching is good stuff? Am I coaching to support this teacher in his professional development?" The answer is, "Yes, all of that." And that affects how the coaching is carried out as you can read in this story of Riccardo Midwinter's adventures as the coach in the classroom. He's not perfect, faultless or entirely neutral in what he does. He is on a mission to bring coaching to the education world. Oops, he has an agenda, and coaches should not have an agenda. The following text is from "The Coach in the Classroom", written by Martin Richards. Riccardo chose to first get in touch with Max, one of the teachers on the list.
He found Max, a middle-aged man, in one of the staff rooms and approached him. "Hi, I'm Riccardo, the coach on assignment here. Your name is on my list." Max rose from his chair, looking like a benevolent bear disturbed from a slumber. His fine, straight, short hair was the colour of varnished wood and was combed in an impractical, artistic style across his eyes. He had droopy blue eyes, and a thick moustache which hung above his defensive smile. Max’s attire was businesslike and flattering to his rounded chest and belly. Max began, "I'm sorry, I don't have time for coaching," and he waved his stubby-fingered hands as if to dismiss Riccardo. Riccardo was taken aback, and silent. He did not move. Max continued, "In fact, I was volunteered for coaching by the headteacher and I don’t really see the point. I have been teaching for seventeen years and I'm already a good teacher." Read the full story here for free. Buy the book on Amazon. Planning and goal-setting is an area that teachers recognise well. However, we are talking about coaching, not teaching and the situation is a bit different.
The biggest difference is ... whose plan? Whose goals? The skill of planning and goal-setting is about developing and maintaining an effective coaching plan with the student. Sounds familiar so far. The coach does these things together with the student
When to use planning and goal-setting? There are opportunities for planning and goal-setting when planning the coaching sessions and at the start of each coaching session too. "What do you want to acheive or experience in these coaching sessions? / this coaching session?" Similarly, there are opportunities for planning and goal-setting when planning the term's lessons and at the start of each lesson too. "What do you want to learn or do during these lessons? / this lesson?". Previuously, this has been expressed from the teacher's internal point of view, "What do I want them to learn and do during the lessons?". Whose goals? Whose planning? I have noticed that goals that are externally defined often result in low levels of motivation; and even may cause resentment and resistance in the client. This occurs even when the goals are well described and well understood. It happens most often when the goals are not well accepted, or not connected sufficiently to the client's personal life. I have also noticed that goals that are internally defined by the client result in higher levels of motivation and a different kind of resistance. As coaching becomes more frequently used in schools and colleges we shall see more work done in balancing these two sets of goals. The personal, student goals and the community, educational goals. There need be no conflict between these sets of goals. There will be a need to build bridges between them. Identifying resistance as external or internal When you are coaching a student you will notice, probably through a change in their tone of voice, or body language, that there is some resistance to what is coming up for them. I have found that this issue is one of whose goals are being worked with. When the goal is not wholly accepted by the student there is resistance, or resentment. Resistance is to internal goals. The body language often displays Fear. Resentment is to external goals. The body language often displays Disgust. How can you pick up on the difference between resistance and resentment? For me this is a question of calibration. Noticing the changes in a particular student's tone of voice and body language when I know in advance that the goal is external will help me notice when it happens later. Misuse of coaching as a persuasion tool There is a risk that coaching will be tried as a means of persuasion. Although some visible success may be achieved in a coaching session it is common that the client's values system will bring them back to the previous behaviour. It is only when the client truly wishes to make a change, that is in line with their values, that they can overcome the fear that has been holding them back from making desired changes. Maturity Coaching requires maturity, readiness for responsibility, and willingess to change yourself Balancing External and Internal goals External goals are those that are set by the student's Community (ie their family, society and school) and Internal goals are those that come from the student's own perception of their Life Mission. A method that a coach can use to illuminate the student's situation regarding their external and internal goals and finding a balance between them, that also enables the coach to remain neutral, is as follows. On a scale 1-10 ...
There are teachers who give up teaching, and yet continue teaching. Can they be re-inspired? Here, I tell the story of a coaching conversation with an exhausted teacher. It did not go well. Or maybe it went as well as it could? You tell me. This story first appeared in "The Coach in the Classroom", available on Amazon Alan came into the room without knocking. He was in his late fifties, his balding head was bowed, his back was stooped. He looked like a lost and wandering spirit. His narrow black eyes were two spheres of night-black marble. The straggling remains of his unkempt black
hair was shoulder-length. He wore a pale grey jumper and old blue jeans. He carried a worn briefcase under one arm and he dragged the soles of his shoes across the floor as he walked across to Riccardo. Alan presented himself in a flat voice, "Hello" "Hi, I'm Riccardo, your coach," replied Riccardo slightly too gleefully, getting up to shake Alan's hand. "Yes, so what do we do?" Read the full story here for free. Buy the book on Amazon An exhausted teacher, an ineffective assistant and a student who's looking for a fight. A recipe for disaster? Or an opportunity for learning? The story below comes from "The Coach in the Classroom", by Martin Richards. Riccardo relaxed into the smooth rhythm of the lesson and was about to start the third page of notes when a loud disturbance of voices at the back of the room caught his attention.
Turning to the source of the disturbance, Riccardo saw the assistant and his young student were having what might be described as a wrestling match. The student was apparently trying to hit the assistant, and the assistant was defending himself by holding onto the student’s wrists. The students nearest the disturbance turned to watch. Riccardo looked for Jayne. Where was she? She was attending to another student elsewhere in the room and had her back to the disturbance. Riccardo was certain, if he could hear the disturbance, then she too could hear what was going on behind her. After a minute, Jayne spun round and walked determinedly over to this wrestling pair. Riccardo’s eyes and ears widened, excited to hear what she was about to say and to see what she was going to do in order to resolve this tense and escalating situation. "A teachable moment," said the voice. "A coachable moment," replied Riccardo. Read the full story here for free. Buy the book on Amazon It's not often that you get to see two teachers teaching the same class. It's not a scientific experiment, it's how the school is dealing with a particular situation. But it does give some scope for observing the effect that two teachers have on the same class. The following story comes from "The Coach in the Classroom", by Martin Richards. During this observation phase, Riccardo noticed something that was happening with this class. The students were at times unruly, challenging, and occasionally rude; and at other times collaborative, playful, and supportive of each other.
The observation tool revealed that the different behaviours were connected to which teacher was at the front of the room. It was tempting to come to the conclusion that one teacher was good and the other was bad, but he knew that would be counter-productive. For Anna, the following occurred: every time a student interrupted, Anna started over reading from the beginning of the sentence once more, sounding a little bit peeved. The students played the game of "winding up the teacher," and Anna would be successfully wound up. For Belle, the following occurred: whenever a student interrupted, she smiled and continued reading in a calm voice, not allowing the interruption to disturb the flow of her story. Students responded by playing the game of "helping each other keep up with the reading." Read the full story here, for free Buy the book on Amazon. As a teacher, a parent, an adult, you already know that your attitude towards a task strongly influences the outcome. As Henry Ford (yes that one) said "If you think you can, or think you can't, you're right" So how would you pass on that nugget of hard-earned, useful information to a roomful of teenagers? The task concerned here is "Giving a Presentation". You may recall the kind of thing from your school days, or you may even be trying to get your students to stand up and give a presentation as part of their lessons. You know how it feels. You know the kind of things that go on inside your head, "If you think you can, or think you can't, you're right." Public speaking is probably the most feared activity in a person's working life. Most of us avoid it. And yet, if we could overcome the fear of it, much would become possible. The story below comes from "The Coach in the Classroom", written by Martin Richards. Looking into the students’ faces, Riccardo declared, "The best way for me to share with you what I know about giving presentations - is to give a presentation."
Riccardo laughed, and added lightly, "and it would be even better for you to give the presentations." As he said the word 'you', Riccardo eyed each of the informal leaders briefly. So what I’m looking for is somebody to volunteer to give a presentation for a couple of minutes so that we can give some feedback. In fact, I’m looking for three people. Who are the three most confident people in the room?" Read the story here for free. Buy the book on Amazon Would you ever take on the task of giving a talk, an inspiring talk, to teenagers at a local college? Since my 50th birthday, I have given over a hundred such talks on behalf of the Swedish volunteer organisation Transfer, At the start, I gave a traditional "This is the working life of an Entrepreneur" lecture and followed up by answering students' polite questions about what such a person does on a day to day basis. Can you guess their most frequent question? As I learned how to engage with teenagers - whose minds and bodies are not yet fully developed into their adult form - I also learned to trust that the students' questions were more important than my life and work experience. Yes, you read that right, more important. And yet, my assignment was to share my life and work experience. So how do those two add up? If you have ever spoon-fed porridge to a baby, you will know that the first thing you have to do is to get the baby to open its mouth. Not using force, but by gentle persuasion. And adding a little jam to the porridge always helps. The following text is an excerpt from my book "The Coach in the Classroom" which tells of Teacher / Coach Riccardo's adventures in feeding life and work experience to teenagers. Opening the door, Melissa continued her education of Riccardo. "At this high school there is an entrepreneur program supported by 'Young Enterprise', a non-profit organization which provides advice and support to new companies during their start-up phase. 'Young Enterprise' has for many years paid for motivational speakers at this high school to deliver their message to students about the services they offer."
She rounded on Riccardo, "I see that you are going to give a talk on 'Starting and Running a Company'. We have asked the teachers to gather the first year students in the Assembly Room. There are about a hundred of them. They are aged between 16 and 18, and have been at here for less than a week. This assembly is part of their orientation to the school." True enough, there were about a hundred teenagers in the Assembly Room. "Welcome," Melissa concluded her speech to Riccardo, and walked on stage and stood behind the podium, picked up a microphone and tapped it. The room hushed. Standing onstage at the podium in the front of the Assembly Room, Melissa greeted the students and said, by way of introduction, "We are going to hear from Mr. Midwinter about his company. We look forward to an interesting and inspiring talk." Melissa passed the microphone to Riccardo and walked offstage. The students applauded politely. They had little idea about what was going to happen. Neither did Riccardo. His heart was pounding in his head. "Read the room, listen to them, contact and engage," intoned Riccardo's inner voice. Riccardo held the microphone to his chest and began his introduction, "My name is Riccardo and I run my own company. I have almost always run my own company. I started when I was young." Read the full story here for free. Buy the book on Amazon You probably learned early on in your teaching career that your very best explanations sometimes don't get through to certain students.
You would never blame the student, so where can you look for ways of developing your explanations? Of the many possible ways, I suggest the looking at student and subject. When you are explaining, which of these two are you focus on most?:
It's about balance, isn't it? Every situation requires you to find the balance. And the balance keeps moving whilst you are explaining. Sometimes a tap-tap-tap with the hammer, sometimes a twist-twist-twist with the screwdriver. If you are focusing on the student and you aren't getting through, change your focus to the subject. Be clear about the terminology you are using, minimise jargon. Refer to simpler examples, use metaphors, show diagrams, refer to earlier completed exercises. You might say: - Here's an example we did last week. How does that help? - Here's a diagram that might be clearer. - What xyz means is ... And, if you are focusing on the subject and you aren't getting through, change your focus to the student. Notice how motivated they are, and work with that. Notice how panicked they are and work with that. Notice what they already know and work with that. You might ask: - How challenging is this? And what is a good thing to do when things are this challenging? - How calm are you right now? And what is a good thing to do when you are this calm? - What have you done that's worked before? And how might that help you here? - Who else could give you the explanation you need? That last question is more to do with sharing the responsibility for learning amongst the learners. Teaching is a great way to learn too. And it gives teachers more space to think when they are not expected to explain individually to every student. That's not practical in a school setting. Before we move on, I'd like to ask about your habits. When explaining, do you usually pick up the hammer or the screwdriver? Just asking! I mean which do you focus on first?: - The subject -The student That's a tricky question because there's no best answer. I am inviting you to notice if you have a habit of focusing primarily on just one. If so, then I encourage you to soften your focus next time and choose the other. See what happens. I have a further question about your priorities too. Which do you feel is most important: - Your explanation is correct - The student understands Again, I am inviting you to notice your priorities and be vulnerable, caring and courageous enough to change them in the moment. The former priority can lead to you giving one size fits all explanations, so I would challenge that. Not because the explanation is wrong, but simply because the student doesn't understand. The latter priority could lead you giving different explanations to every student which, apart from being exhausting, can lead to confusion when other students overhear your tailored explanation, or share their tailored explanation with another student. Just a final question. How true do you think this statement is? There is an explanation that will be understood by every student My answer is, "The correct explanation is always - the one that works, not the one that always works." Because there isn't one that always works with all students, all the time. Yeah, they are all different, aren't they? Yippee Teachers have Inner Voices
Teachers get triggered Students have Inner Voices too Students get triggered too It might be something you say or something you do. It could happen seldom, or it could happen a lot. There's research that suggests up 30% of your students have adverse childhood experiences that are waiting to be triggered. And when they are triggered your students have little chance to parry the effects. Assuming that your students aren't all Zen masters. What Inner Voices do you hear in these common student comments?: - I can't do this - I'm no good at this - This is hard - I'm not going to be any good at this anyway - I'm never going to use this - Everyone else is better than me at this The answer is that the Inner Voice is protecting the student from feeling bad about their lack of success (so far). It's tempting for a teacher to go ahead and prove the student is wrong, that far from not being able to 'do this' they indeed can - and then they proceed to show the student how. It's a strategy that places Teacher and Student on opposite sides of the Inner Voice. It's a trap. And so is any 'encouragement' strategy that steps over the fact that the student is more focused on protecting themselves than learning about (this) whatever it is. Strategy: Teach about Inner Voice A more empowering way of tackling this situation is to teach the student about their Inner Voice. Give it some space to come into the open and be seen for what it is, self-protection. You might have a learning conversation like this: S - I can't do this! T - So, what's telling you that you can't? S - I just know T - What's the benefit to you of believing it? S - I don't know T - If you believe you can't then you will stop trying, and then there's no way to fail. Your Inner Voice is protecting you S - Inner Voice? T - Yeah. The voice that tells you what you can and cannot do. We all have them S - So I don't have to do (this)! T - Your Inner Voice has a job, it protects you from doing stuff that might hurt you. It's trying to protect you from the hurt of failing. But you don't have to listen to it. S - I don't? T - Not all the time. As you get older, you will learn what to listen to, and what not to. S - What's that got to do with learning about (this)? T - Everything and nothing. Learning to do (this) is all about learning when to listen to your Inner Voice, and when not to. S - OK T - What if you believed 100% that you can't do this, what might happen? S - I won't be able to do it T - What if you believed 100% that you can do this, what might happen? S - But I can't T - Not yet. But if you believed you can do this, what might happen? S - Maybe I could T - Maybe you could. What would it be like if you could do this? S - I don't know T - Want to find out? Teach about (this) T - So, what's it like to be able to do (this)? S - It's OK T - And what does your Inner Voice say about it? S - I won't be able to do (that) T - Did you see what the Inner Voice did there? S - No T - It jumped ahead of you, to protect you again S - Oh yeah T - So, do you want to learn about (that)? Conversation Pattern Not every learning conversation will be the same, but they follow the pattern of:
There are situations that can trigger uncomfortable memories and cause us to become for example, excited, challenged, or insulted. There is a risk that, whilst triggered, we speak. It's not us who's speaking but our excited, challenged or insulted self. And, it can say some crazy things.
To be an empowering educator, you need to have the presence of mind to pause before our excited, challenged, or insulted-self says something. You need to develop your mental agility, balance and resilience. Agility: the ability to move away from the negative feelings offered Balance: the ability to return to neutral feelings quickly Resilience: the tendency to remain unaffected There are many situations that can trigger you to become for example, excited, challenged, or insulted:
Self-assess How well do you normally do? Take a couple of minutes and reflect. On a scale from 1 to 10 (best), how did you do?: - Agility (moved away from the negative feelings offered) - Balance (returned to your normal state quickly) - Resilience (not affected) Strategy: Visualise and clarify (for your mind) What target will you set for the next three weeks? What does that look/sound like? What responses do you choose to have at a higher level? Strategy: Pause, breathe then respond Pause before your excited, challenged, or insulted self, says anything. Give it time to express itself internally, then let it walk off stage. Strategy: Plan and rehearse your responses For the full positive benefit, these responses need to be spoken with full authenticity. If in doubt, record yourself saying these aloud and listen. Is there any sarcasm in your voice? For example, Late arrivals - I am glad you arrived safely, you are welcome - Ah, now we have a real reason to summarise what has already happened in this lesson. Who can begin? - Hmmm, I'm restructuring this lesson a bit to include what just happened - (Said with love, humour and theatrical gestures) Just throwing my lesson plans out the window, aaand, restructuring, beep, beep. I'm ready. - I would love to chat with you about what kept you from arriving on time, but not now. Maybe later. Your Inner Voice is the one that guides you in making the best decisions. It speaks through your feelings. It has a calm, supportive voice.
And sometimes it doesn't. You have another Inner Voice that also uses your feelings. It mocks, screams and yells and brings you down, slows you down and stops you from making the best decisions. You probably have many Inner Voices. A whole choir of them. They sing through your feelings especially when you are triggered by situations that bring back uncomfortable memories. That's why you need to develop your mental agility, balance and resilience. Agility: the ability to move away from the negative feelings offered Balance: the ability to return to neutral feelings quickly Resilience: the tendency to remain unaffected First, check in with yourself and get a measure of how agile, balanced and resilient you already are. For example, how do you react when you imagine being put into one of these unprepared situations*?: *These situations are common. You can probably think of more.*
Take a couple of minutes and reflect. On a scale from 1 to 10 (best), how did you do?:
If you scored yourself less than 4, maybe you have a tendency to respond defensively, to expect the worst, to not see the bigger picture. You may need to develop your mental agility, your balance and resilience. Here are five simple strategies that help: Strategy 1: Desensitise Over the next two weeks, spend two or three minutes on imagining an unexpected situation, reviewing your reaction and then reimagining how you would like to respond. Strategy 2: Pause and Breathe Train yourself to react less often and respond more often. As you enter the unexpected situation, pause to allow your reaction to ebb away. Take three deep breaths before you respond. Strategy 3: Respond with acceptance and curiosity Mentally say to yourself, some 'accepting phrase' such as: - Ahh, this too happens today! - And I wonder what comes next? - Where will this take me? - Yippee! - And here we go (again) - Never saw that coming Strategy 4: Expect the best, with openness and courage Mentally say to yourself, some 'encouraging phrase' such as: - I am going to learn from this - And here comes the life lesson of the day - The door opens and... - Be bold my friend, be bold - Courage, dear heart, courage - Ah, reality, you call on me again Strategy 5: See the bigger picture Mentally shift or widen your perspective: - What is being asked of me? - What changed? - What is the greater need here? - Who is calling on me to become more human? - What will this look like ten years from now? - What does this look like from outside this room? - Who needs to see me behaving like the best person I can be? Working with 20 - 30 participants willing to learn from each other?
Here is a way of blending the learning experience in a respectful way, maximising the learning for all concerned. Preparation Make sure you have self-study materials comprising 6 different examples of: ‘challenging situations’, or ‘puzzles’ or ‘problems’ labelled A, B, C, D, E and F. On the day Divide the participants into six groups by issuing one 'random' playing card to each participant as they enter the room and inviting them to sit at specific tables. Make sure you have five each of 1 (A), 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 (use multiple packs of cards) To ensure that each group has a unique task AND they have good reason to listen to each other, issue the materials as follows, giving some overlap of materials between the groups:
Study, Solve, Come to an Agreement… Some groups will work twice as quickly as the average, some groups will work half as quickly as the average. Let the groups work until they have finished with at least one piece of material. Stop when at most two groups have worked with all their material. In emergencies you can issue one more piece of material to ‘early completers’. Share In order to involve as many groups as soon as possible during the share session, invite the groups to share their answers, solutions and responses with the whole group following this pattern:
Reflect Invite the groups to reconvene and discuss the ‘best solution’ to their material based on the additional input from the group. Learning Invite each participant to write down what they need to remember for later.  When you have twenty or so people in a room and you wish for them to interact and learn from each other - here are some powerful and effective strategies Reflective ListeningThis is a low body energy, high spirit energy activity. Keep it sacred.
Connecting PeopleThis is a high energy, almost combatative activity. Keep it real. Keep it civil.
Be strategic Take care to alternate strategically between bringing out the similarities and bringing out the differences. Asking about similarities will build concensus, a sense of right-right, we agree, we are right, we are alright. Asking about differences will build competition and a sense of I am right / You are wrong. Let's fight about this! Bring out the similarities. Pause after each participant has spoken, to ask:
Bring out the differences. Pause after each participant has spoken, to ask:
Break and rotate After every two or three perspectives, notice which participants are over-energised, or under-energised. Break the circle turn-taking pattern to invite immediate verbal contributions of perspectives from them, "Can you give us an example of that?". Be careful to return to the right place in the circle turn-taking to continue. Raise the Energy To raise the energy in the group ask the participants to (in order of increasing energy and commitment):
Leader encourages visibility by inviting the participants:
Lower the Energy To lower the energy in the group, ask the participants to:
  The eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month feels auspicious enough to be setting goals for the coming year. As a coach, I ask open-ended questions to guide people in uncovering what's next for them. Here, I answer such questions for myself, in a self-coaching session. What is important to you? Once all my basic food, safety and comfort needs are met... it's being part of the evolution of the education system. That's been a significant theme all my life, I am always nudging the system to wake up and take better care of the people it is supposed to serve - the teachers and the learners. The more I am involved in the education system, the more determined I become to make a difference. There's so much still to do, and so much to gain from a more evolved state. I want to see the education system evolve so that it serves higher levels of human needs. What do you want most of all? I would love to watch how the education caterpillar turns into a butterfly. I want to be there on the day when it happens. I want to be part of the happening. I don't know what happens after that. That is as far as I can see my life. I am drawn to that time with full curiosity and a sense of adventure. I long for it even though I sense there would be an end to something important in my life. And what is one good step you could take in the right direction?" They are all good steps. Any step that takes me to where I am involved with people in the education system whether it be the caterpillar state or the butterfly state. Some steps are tougher to take, I tend to take the easier route most of the time. Then I get frustrated about how long the journey is taking; and take a short cut even if it's tough. When are you at your happiest? Writing! You knew I was going to say that. Writing is still new for me and I am getting better and better at it. Being in the writing process is when I am the happiest. Time melts away, hours flow into each other. Not so sure about the results. When I share what I have written, I realise I need to rewrite and how much more there is to write about. When you feel life is most meaningful, what is it that you are doing? Talking about how teaching and learning interact; how teachers and learners interact. And how to create spaces where such interactions occur at their best. I'm mostly involved with teenaged and adult learners but what I am doing is the same - I'm holding learning conversations. I get to see the light go on, I hear the ah-ha's, I am part of their emerging understanding. Just imagine, in a small way someone goes from not-understanding to understanding, and all I did was to ask a couple of open-ended questions, and wait. What could be better? How can you get more of that? For a moment I was tempted to say do more of the face-to-face learning conversations, but that would take more effort than my body can provide. There's a limit to how often I can do that. No, what's calling for my attention is to get more out of each interaction. More, as a quality, not a quantity. So, I will get more out of each learning conversation; write them down maybe. Yes, journal the learning conversations, make a book out of them. Now that would be something I could read over and again. What have you decided to do differently in 2019? I am going to journal my learning conversations with teachers and learners, then make a book out of them. Proposed Goals for 2019 Thinking about goals for 2019:
FOR ME
FOR MONEY
FOR FREE
I'd like to begin by asking a question, "Whose responsibility is it that a student passes the course that you are teaching?"
Naturally, as teacher you want as many students as possible to pass, and get the highest grades possible. You know from personal experience that their grades can make a difference to their lives. Certainly the student's parents will probably expect you to do everything that you can to get their son/daughter through the course, and get the best grade possible. Some parents may be more actively involved. Now that puts you in a tough situation. Not only you but the dozens of parents connected to your class want you to do your best, and those high expectations put a lot of pressure on you to prepare the best lessons, be clear about the goals and expectations, motivate the students to learn, plus follow up and grade their work fairly and accurately. Phew! That's a job! Luckily coaching will make this job very much easier for you because "Managing Progress and Accountability" is all about empowering students to make the right choices for their lives, by themselves! Definition According to the ICF description what you need to do is hold attention on what is important for the student, and to leave responsibility with them to take action. That might sound like leaving all the work up to the student, however there's a lot you can do, as coach, to increase the chances that the student takes actions that they will be proud of. Here are some of the things you can do: Clearly request the student to take actions that will move them toward their stated goals. "What are you going to do to get closer to your goal?" That implies that you know what the student's goals are. Sometimes students hide behind the phrase "I don't know" when you ask them about their goals. This can be because they are afraid of stating a goal, since it will give you the means to make clear requests of them for action. In such cases it's vital that you unearth the student's goals before you put more effort into managing progress and/or accountability. There are plenty of activities and exercises for doing this. It should be pointed out that the student's choice of not having goals is in fact a choice. They have made the choice of allowing other people to set goals for them. They have opened themselves to the risk of being forced into a life they don't want to live, or a life that leaves them ultimately disappointed. It's a choice, and as such should be respected. And as a coach your job is to make it possible for the student to become enlightened to the character of the goal that they have passively set. Ask them to think about people who made a similar choice of having no goals, and to consider asking these people how satisfied they are with their lives. Often just imagining this process will be enough to encourage studnets to set some sort of goals... and that's enough. Other things that you can do as coach are: Demonstrate follow through by asking the student about those actions that they committed to during the previous session(s). Just be curious and ask "What did you do? What did you learn? What did you achieve? What did you experience...?" Acknowledge the student for what they have done, not done, learned or become aware of since the previous coaching session(s). Sincerely say "That's great", where appropriate, honestly say "You made an effort there - and the results were smaller than you expected or hoped"... Effectively prepare, organize and review with student the information that comes up in the sessions. This can be a case of writing things down in a more convenient way, so that the student has something to put in their pocket or diary, for example. Ideally you should get the student to do this themselves, and they may need to experience the benefits before they take the initiative to organise themselves in this way. Role model! Keep the student on track between sessions by holding attention on the coaching plan and outcomes, agreed-upon courses of action, and topics for future session(s). That's a question of checking with the written plan from time to time, and making checklists of topics and research material, and checking that progress is being made. Focus on the coaching plan but is also open to adjusting behaviors and actions based on the coaching process and shifts in direction during sessions. Naturally the course of the coaching session is less than a straight line. It's more like riding a skateboard! Be able to move back and forth between the big picture of where the student is heading, setting a context for what is being discussed and where the student wishes to go. This simply means that you move between the macro and micro perspectives and make sure they are included in a balanced way across the coaching sessions. Promote the student's self-discipline and hold them accountable for what they say they are going to do, for the results of an intended action, or for a specific plan with related time frames. Just let them know that you care that they do / don't do what they said they would do / not do. Saying "I notice that you smell of cigarettes, and remind you that your goal is to quit", is more coach-like than "You said you would stop smoking!" Develop the student's ability to make decisions, address key concerns, and develop themself (to get feedback, to determine priorities and set the pace of learning, to reflect on and learn from experiences). Asking "How well does the current pace of learning match your needs?" will encourage the student to realise that they do have some influence on the pace. Where necessary, positively confront the student with the fact that they did not take agreed-upon actions. By repeatedly reminding the student that they always have a choice in what they do, you will guide them away from giving endless excuses, and empower them to make better choices in the future. |
I enjoy speaking with people about coaching and teaching. Do you have an hour to invest in a learning conversation?
Click on the button to see when I am available, and book a call. Let's talk. 
Categories
All
Archives
April 2020
The BooksThe PodcastsThe AuthorI am a teacher, a business-owner, a public speaker, a coach and an author. |