Use positive language - embrace what's actually there

Moving from Bracing Yourself Against What You Expect, to Embracing What’s Actually There

I used to teach at a school.

I'm smart, I learn fast. By the third week of the first term, I knew which classes were going to be easiest to teach, and which ones were going to be the hardest. I knew for each class which students were funny, which students were easy to reach, and which were going to give me a hard time. I was especially clear about which students were going to give me a hard time.

At the back of my mind a voice was beginning to make certain statements:

• “They are going to make things difficult”
• “They are out to stop me teaching”
• “This class is difficult to teach”
• “These students aren’t teachable”
• “These students are aggressive / rude / stupid”
• “These students will laugh at me / not take me seriously.”

Every day, as certain classes started, so did the voice. It told me what to expect of that class, which students were going to challenge my authority, to trip me up and make my lessons into a shambles. And guess what. The voice was right. Everything it predicted happened; and more.

At the start of some lessons I was mentally fired up, ready to defend myself, to return fire, to give back what I was receiving and do so to such a degree that I would win. Because I was the teacher, and I was in charge.Luckily, I had studied some Transactional Analysis at University and the deeper truth of the situation began to make itself known to me.

In my book "A Coaching Approach to Education" I will tell you the cure for the negative words that I was hearing, the words that were draining my energy and killing my relationship with my students.

Positive language:

• Includes thoughts, words and habits that maintain and increase students’ chances of becoming a successful adults.
• Builds the students self-confidence, their belief in their future.
• Is inspirational, motivational, constructive and instructive.
• Occurs in all communication, verbal, non-verbal (facial expression) and para-verbal (proximity and stance).