That book - the one I'm supposed to be writing

The book is about how Co-Active Coaching would be beneficial in a school. There are many situations in the school year when a dose of Co-Activity would do a world of good.

In fact, there are quite a few times in my life in general when a bit of Co-Activity from the adults around me would have gone a long way to making my young life more productive, meaningful and enjoyable.

For example, the time when...

1. My brother was to be born
2. I had to learn to tell the time.
3. I had to learn to ties my shoelaces
4. I had to go to Nursery School (and my brother did not - yet)
5. I cut my finger badly - doing something wrong
6. We moved house
7. I started at Primary School
8. I was not doing well at 'times tables'
9. I was beaten up by the twins, on my way to school
10. I had to wear shorts in the winter (and I was quite tall)
11. I painted an amazing picture for the school art competition
12. My uncle called me a liar (for an amazing pencil drawing that I had done)
13. The choice of Secondary School
14. I had to wear a school uniform and a satchel
15. Not liking sports, and being bad at sports and having to do sports
16. Being touched by the Gym teacher
17. I was beaten up by the school bullies
18. Having sticking out ears
19. After school activities, lack of.
20. Choice of subjects to study to O Level (which and why)
21. Homework stress
22. Having few friends
23. Having strange friends
24. Having frequent headaches
25. Feeling left out (and wanting to be left alone)
26. Those long summers, when I did nothing
27. Exam stress
28. The French student who came to stay
29. First girlfriend
30. Second girlfriend
31. Pressure to get a job during the last school summer
32. Pressure to get a job after school
33. Wanting to, and deciding to continue at Sixth Form (High School)
34. Saying "No!" to Dad's 'offer' of employment in his own company
35. Studying like crazy to prove myself
36. Starting my first income-producing activity
37. Learning how to deal with a lot of money, and being an 'employer'.
38. Choosing to go to University. and choosing which one (where and why)
39. Finding somewhere to live so I could go to University
40. Managing my zero income as a student
41. ...

When I started at Primary School

If I could go back in time and be the Parent I needed at that time, it might look and sound like this.

All the time, asking how he felt about what was going on in this moment. Just listening and remembering what he said.

All the time, telling him in a matter-of-fact way what he needs to know about this next step in life, growing up, being away from home, being with other adults, being with other children, less free play, more structured play, that there are different rules at school than at home, that change is an opportunity to grow, that learning is part of growing, sharing is part of becoming part of society.

And listening to how he responds to the upcoming change in environment, expectations, opportunities, And looking for the positive aspects.

Activites

• Several trips to the library, to pick up interesting books to read together
• Several trips to the stationers. to pick up pens and paper for him.
• A walk to and around several local nursery schools, during playtime, to show him what nursery school is like.
• Several trips to the shops to look at school uniforms, picking out the one that he thought looked the best.
• Going to that nursery school, the one with that uniform.
• Attending an Open Day at that school.
• Attending Sports Day / Choir / some event at that school
• A walk to and around that nursery school, during school time, to show him what nursery school is like.
  
• Spend a day at the school together
  
• Meeting parents with children at bthe school
• Meeting older children at that school


• etc

Co-Activity?
Active listening makes use of Curiosity, non-judgement, self-management